north india – Pertinent Observations

Engagement Ceremony

The problem with a formal engagement (like the ceremony I went through yesterday) is that nothing fundamentally changes in your life. Especially if things had already been “fixed” well before the engagement and the engagement was more of a formality to let people know and to get family and friends from both sides introduced to each other.

Once the ceremony is over, you return to your respective homes. You wake up early the next morning, like you always do on Mondays, and go back to work. The only thing different is that ring on your finger. And maybe that you are now wearing those nice brown shoes you’d bought for the engagement.

In fact, when I mentioned to my boss (who is American) about my engagement ceremony, he didn’t quite understand what was going on. He said he was engaged when he took his then-girlfriend our for dinner, put a ring on her hand, asked her to marry him and she agreed (by that count I got engaged seven months back).

At the other extreme, in hastily-arranged arranged marriages, the formal engagement ceremony is significant since it performs the role that is performed by the going-down-on-one-knee-ritual in normal marriages. Again, there since the couple may not know each other too well, exchanging expensive gifts and getting their families to know each other does help bind the couple.

A colleague kindly informs me that there is no concept of the engagement in the Hindu scriptures and that modern ceremonies are essentially an adaptation of practices in the west (this is not strictly true – in North India they have a “roka” (stopping) function where they effectively instruct the to-be-weds to “stop flirting and settle down”). But then, given what my boss says about how engagements happen in America (over a dinner, with one ring and the groom down on one knee), I’m puzzled where this concept came from.

All said and done, I’m quite enjoying all the attention that I’m getting currently due to my recent change in relationship status (75 messages on facebook today! beat that! ) and so I’m not cribbing. Yet, I’m puzzled about the concept of a formal engagement function.

PS: I know why we organized the function yesterday. It was essentially to enable my extended family to interact with my extended family-in-law. And it was a completely non-religious ceremony. We exchanged rings (I’ll write about this in another post) and cut an awesome chocolate mousse cake and that was it.

why is the level of English in North India so low?

I had sent this mail to a mailing list of 60-odd super-intelligent people. unfortunately, in their fondness for Savita Bhabhi, Vidarbhan farmers and child-eating, they weren’t able to come up with any convincing explanation for this. So I thought you super-intelligent readers of my blog might be able to help. I begin.

Three months back I moved to Gurgaon from Bangalore. And one thing I’ve noticed is that here practically no one can speak English. I’m referring to service providers here, people who are typically from the lower middle class. Taxi driver. Electrician. Waiter. Accountant. etc.

None of them can speak a word of English, and I mean that almost literally. In Bangalore and Madras, we can see that people in these professions at least make an effort to speak English, and even if you don’t know their local tongue you will be able to communicate with them and get your work done. Here, unless you know Hindi, it is impossible. There is only so much you can communicate in Dumb Charades, right?

I suppose one argument will be that people in the North would have never had the need to learn English since most people they come across can speak Hindi. And that since linguistic regions are much smaller in the South, there is greater incentive for people to pick up and learn new languages. And since they know that a knowledge of English helps get them more business, they make an effort to pick it up.

But again – even if you exclude those who haven’t gone to school, the knowledge of English here is horrible. Isn’t it aspirational in North India to send kids to English medium schools? If not, I wonder why this is the case – given that in the South practically everyone want to send their kids to English medium schools.

Ok here is my hypothesis – remember that it is a hypothesis and not an argument. I wonder if people who are native of regions where the same language prevails over a large geographical area are linguistically challenged. because everyone they need to interact with know their language and there is no need for them to learn any new language. and this affects their ability to pick up new languages. on the other hand, people from linguistically diverse regions will tend to find it easier to pick up new languages.

extending this, it might actually help if the medium of instruction in your school is not your native tongue. having learnt a new language early, you will find it easier to pick up new languages as you go along.

sometime last month I was at a high-end restaurant with a couple of friends. spoke to the waiter in English and he didn’t understand. one of my friends who was with me said “don’t bother talking to these guys in English. if they knew some english, they’d’ve been working for Genpact and not become waiters”

Why Breakfast is an integral part of South Indian cuisine and not in North Indian

I suppose the more perceptive of you would have noticed this – that breakfast forms an integral part of South Indian cuisine, while it is totally absent (apart from parathas) in the North. The more inquisitive of you would have asked yourselves this question, and would have perhaps asked some friends and relatives and acquaintances also. The luckier among you would have found some answers. I think I belong to this category, too. And I hereby share my theory with you.

The fundamental concept here is that South Indian food is predominantly rice-based while North Indian food is roti-based. Yes, you have the accompaniments – sambar and dry curry in the south, and dal and sabji in the north. But let us focus on the staple component here. Let us think back a few generations, when large joint families were the norm. Division of labour meant that most women would spend most of their time cooking.

Now, those of you who have cooked, or even observed someone cooking, would have noticed that the process of cooking rice is “scalable”. On the part of the cook, cooking 10 kilos of rice takes only marginally greater effort compared to cooking 1 kilo of rice. On the other hand, rotis are non-scalable. There are minor economies of scale in terms of time taken to get the stove going, but the amount of effort involved in cooking is directly proportional to the number of rotis to be made. Roti-making is thus non-scalable. Also, observe that roti-making is high-involvement. It requires the undivided attention of a cook. On the other hand, you can just set rice to boil, and go sing a song while it gets cooked.

So the funda here is that given the non-scalable process of making rotis, whenever there were large families involved, North Indian women would have to spend a large part of their time making rotis. The long and tedious process meant that women had little time left over after cooking lunch and dinner. Contrast this with the rice-eating South, where due to the scalable process, women had a lot more free time compared to their Northern counterparts.

Another thing we need to remember here is that rice is more easily digestible than wheat, and hence doesn’t “last as long”. Hence, the rice-eater will need to eat at more regular intervals as compared to the wheat-eater. The wheat-eater can easily survive on two meals a day, but this is not the case for the rice-eater. There is the need for that one extra meal.

So, people, this is why breakfast, which is an integral part of South Indian cuisine, is practically absent in the North. There was demand – rice-eating south indians couldn’t survive on two meals a day. There was also the requirement for variety, for one couldn’t eat the same thing thrice a day. And there was supply – the free time the South Indian woman had, thanks to the scalable process she adopted for making lunch and dinner. This explains why South Indians evolved such an excellent breakfast cuisine, while people in the North eat bread.