Meet and beat

Soon after our first “date” (we didn’t know when we were going to meet that it was going to be a “date” that would ultimately lead to marriage), the person who is now my wife wrote a cute ¬†blogpost titled “Karabath Series“.

In that she had written about “arranged louvvu”, and went on to write this:

First step is to keep your eyes open to delicious and nutritious tharkaris(potential marriage material girls/boys). Then, somehow through some network, make someone set you two up. Third, interact. with tact. Fourth, put meet. or beat. Fifth, this can go in three ways now. First, is a no. Definite no. Second, yes. Full yes. Third, Yes, but not yet. This is a lucrative possibility which gives super scope to put more meets, learn about each others funny faces, food tastes, sense of humour, patience, sense of dressing, chappliying, smells, etc

The fourth point is key, and it was amply clear to me after reading it that it was aimed at me. For a few days before this was written, we had met, and “put beat” (as they say in Bangalore parlance).

We had sort of been “google talk friends” for two years then, and “orkut friends” for three. I had been in the arranged marriage market, and I had out of the blue suggested that we meet. After a little song and dance about whether meeting would be appropriate or not, the discussion went on to where to meet.

This is when she mentioned we could “simply walk around Gandhi Bazaar together”. Things moved fast after that. We met in front of Vidyarthi Bhavan at 4 o’clock on the long weekend Monday, and then started walking. Two hours of walking around Basavanagudi later, we stopped at a Cafe Coffee Day (now closed) to sit for a bit and have coffee. Five years later I documented what we’ve now retrofitted as our “first date” here.

This is not a “personal” post. This is yet another post about how the world might change after the covid crisis. It just has a long preamble, that’s all.

One of the things that is going to suffer after the crisis is over is cafes. I’d written in my post on verandahs about how cafes have served well as good “third places” to meet people. That option is not going to be too much of an option going forward, for even after cafes reopen, people will be loathe to go there and sit in close proximity to strangers.

So how do we do “general catchups”? How do we do dates? How do we discuss business ideas with people? The solution for all this lies in what we ended up doing on our first date. I don’t claim we invented it. Well before we went on this date, journalist Shekhar Gupta had started this series on NDTV called “walk the talk”.

What do you do? You just meet at an agreed place, pick up something to munch on or drink, and start walking. You can take side roads to make sure there isn’t too much traffic. The length of the walk can vary based on how interesting you find each other, and how much time you have.

The best part of meeting someone while walking is that there are no awkward silences. Rather, since you aren’t looking at each other constantly, the silences won’t be awkward. When you run out of things to talk about, there will be some visual stimulus by something you walk by. What’s not to like?

The only issue with walking and talking is that it might be an excellent idea for Bangalore, but not so much for a lot of other cities. Delhi and Bombay, for example, are impossible to step outside in for at least the summer. Maybe in those places we’ll end up having heavily “air cooled” or heavily fanned outdoor places.

It’s not for nothing that the phrase “putting beat” (for aimlessly walking around) was invented in Bangalore.

 

 

Shoes and metrics

The best metric to measure the age of a pair of shoes is the distance walked in them

My latest pair of “belt chappli” (sandals with a belt going around the heels) is only ten months old, but has started wearing. Walking long distances in the said sandals has become a pain. The top is nice, the sole is fantastic, but the inner sole has gotten FUBARed. Maybe it was a stone that got stuck under my feet which I didn’t notice. Maybe it was several such small stones. But with the inner sole “gone”, time is nigh to possibly retire the chappal.

But then a good pair of sandals is supposed to last much longer (and I did 2 longish foreign trips in this period where this chappal didn’t travel with me). Historically, good sandals have lasted two years or more. And it is not that this one is cheap. I paid close to Rs. 2000 for it, and it’s branded, too (Lee Cooper), and I had found it after a lot o difficulty (three months of searching). That it has lasted less than a year is not fair.

But then the question arises as to whether I have the right metrics in place. The number of months or years that a pair of shoes lasts is an intuitive metric of its quality, but it is not the right one. For, a pair of shoes doesn’t wear when it is not worn! Of course there might be mild wear and tear due to weather conditions, but for a pair of shoes made of good leather, that can be ignored.

So maybe the best metric for a pair of shoes is the amount of time it is worn? Then again, while a shoe might wear while its worn, it doesn’t wear too much when it’s at rest – ¬†I mean its shape changes to fit the wearer’s foot (over the medium term) and that might cause some wear and tear, but in the long run, there is unlikely to be much wear and tear at rest.

From that perspective, I hereby declare that the best metric to measure a shoe’s performance is the number of kilometres walked or run in it (latter causes significantly more wear and tear, but let’s assume that walking shoes and running shoes are mutually exclusive (which they’re not) ). This is an excellent because it takes care of a number of features that correlate with the wear and tear, and is not hard to fathom.

Going by this metric, my current pair of “belt chappli” has put in considerable service. Over the last ten months, the frequency of going on “beats” in Jayanagar has gone up, and the distance covered in each beat, too. Having pretty much stopped driving, I walk more than I used to, and this is my default shoe for such perambulations.

The problem now is the search cost – good belt chapplis that fit my feet are hard to find. It’s a liquidity problem, I think (:P). Maybe I should just consider getting the inner sole replaced and get on with this one.

Jakarta: General Notes

I’ve been in Jakarta for about two days now (not counting the weekend trip to Yogyakarta) and I’m not particularly impressed. My main problem with the city is that it is not walkable – roads are so wide and traffic so fast-moving that they are impossible to cross; there are absolutely no pavements to walk on (forcing you to take shelter from parked cars while walking) and there are no zebra crossings at all in some places!

A side effect of this unwalkable-ness is that it is impossible for you to explore – I haven’t seen any bus stops or buses nearby, too. So if I’ve to go somewhere it has to be by taxi, and with a purpose. This has led to my not going out anywhere at all, save for two malls that are close to my hotel and which can be reached without crossing any major roads (though you need to walk through a shady-looking alley to get there).

In some ways this city is like Gurgaon on steroids – massive roads, massive malls, massive traffic jams and massive freeways. To its credit the city is quite clean (much cleaner than any Indian city I’ve been to) and there is a functioning and efficient taxi system, so you can get around if there’s someplace you want to get around to.

But if you just want to spend some time here, “take in the city”, have a look around and so on, it is surely not the place.

The other day the wife and I were having a conversation on where we want to live, and one thing we agreed upon is that we want to live in a place where the commute doesn’t drive your life. Of course, rather ironically, the only time that has been true for me was in Gurgaon in 2008-09, when I had a commute which took less than 20 minutes at any point of time, because of which I didn’t have to base my schedule on when traffic would be smooth. A later visit to Gurgaon has shown that this is not true of Gurgaon any more (the same 20 minute commute from 2009 took 40 minutes on a rather empty Saturday morning in 2014).

I think I’m too much of a sucker for walking and public transport to be able to survive in a place like Jakarta.