Goalkeeper theory – the basics » War Madness and Disease

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Oct 01

Goalkeeper theory – the basics

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Ugliness was supposed to write this post. However, since he has kept sliming and a lot of our other inputs depend upon this particular post, I thought I should write this however well I can. Hopefully the ugly one will himself do a better job some day.

It’s a strange form of football. Maybe it’s the version that a lot of people would’ve played as kids. There is only one goal. There may or may not be a goalie. And everyone’s objective is to score, and to prevent others from scoring. There will be a few people in the game, however, who will not want to score themselves. They just want to help out some friends.

So in order to score you’ll have to get past everyone else. You have to get past so many “defenders” anyway. The theory goes that the chances of your scoring are not significantly altered by the presence of a goalie. If you are good enough to get past so many defenders (remember that everyone else who is playing is practically a defender), you should be good enough to get past the goalie and store.

There is another strange twist to the game – if at all someone ends up scoring, he becomes the goalkeeper. Remember that the goalkeeper is the only guy in the game who doesn’t need to actively try to score. He’s always inside the goal anyways. This, in effect, is the simplest form of the goalkeeper theory. Acshully, I still need to complete the analogy.

Replace the goal by a person. Other players are the suitors for that particular person. If the “goal” has a boyfriend/girlfriend that person is the goalkeeper – after all the goalie is the only person allowed to use his/her hands. If the goalie thinks he/she cannot defend the goal alone, he/she may recruit defenders. Whose only job is to prevent everyone else from scoring. On the rare occasion, however, the defender ends up scoring a self-goal. Actually, it is not so rare. Especially if the defender has been appointed as a petromax for the goalie.

In forthcoming posts on this topic, we will be taking instances from real football, and draw insights from them to apply into the world of relationships. Baada, given his immense football knowledge, will act as the “football consultant” on a few of these posts. I think we are headed for interesting times.

written by War

2 Pings to “Goalkeeper theory – the basics”

Goalkeeper Theory - as it happened | War Blog Says:
April 13th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
[...] my earlier post on the goalkeeper theory, I had received feedback that it was a little too complicated and tough to [...]
Arranged Scissors 12 - Rejection Sharing Agreements | Pertinent Observations Says:
September 19th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
[...] is similar to the Klose-Podolski corollary to the Goalkeeper Theory. To refresh your memory, or to fresh it in case I haven’t mentioned this earlier, the [...]