Pee-ball Wizard

I conceived this game around two o’clock this afternoon. It was during one of my several bio-breaks that I usually take during a hard day’s work. The amount of work done is directly proportional to the volume of fluid that passes through my system, and given the rate at which both input and output happened today, it seemed like i did a lot of work.

This is a very gross post. If you think you are going to get grossed out, read no further. And for your sake, let me put the rest of the post under the fold.

If you’ve noticed, in most office urinals, they stock loads of naphthalene balls. Sometimes the balls could be of unusual shape, but more likely than not, they will be round. In my office they are white, but they come in different colours too. And I don’t know if any of you have already tried this, but you could aim and shoot at some of these balls. And they roll around the bottom of the urinal. If you hit one hard, it can go hide behind another ball. By the time your bladder is clear, the entire orientation of the balls would have changed.

Given this basic concept, there are several ways in which this game can be played. One option is for each player to be given a “before map” and an “after map” and the aim of the game will be to change the orientation of the balls to fit the after map. Another variation would be to have balls of different colours, and ask the players to rearrange them so that all red balls are on one side and all blue balls on another. Else, there could be some strategically placed large holes in the fountain, and you could play something like snooker. Objective being to shoot the balls into these holes.

The best thing about this game is that it’s still young, and you can set your own rules. Also, it can be played as a single-player game, so you don’t need anyone to play with. Then, it will help you enjoy your bio-breaks in office much better, and this can be a major destressing mechanism. And given certain biological constraints, you won’t end up spending too much time playing this game. If you get addicted you will react by drinking more water, which can only be a good thing.

So I encourage you to go ahead and try this out. And let me know of any variations you can come up with. Any nuances that I missed. Any method by which the game can be made more interesting.

10 thoughts on “Pee-ball Wizard”

  1. Once long ago, a friend told me how painting a dead fly in the urinal prompts people to aim at it. This way toilet designers positioned the fly in such a place as to minimise splashing and spraying. Very clever I should say.
    Considering grossness is not a big factor here anyway, the ensuing conversation also very academically went to describe the presence of stray pubic hair playing a similar function. People want to wash it down the drain.
    The problem is with pubic hair and naphthalene balls. With so much moisture in this whole system, there is a propensity to ‘stick’, which could be a frustrating variant on the game?

    1. yeah i’ve read this theory about painting a fly on the urinal wall. and i wonder why it isn’t implemented more widely.

      and i also agree about pubic hair and naphthalene balls being sticky. that will slightly complicate the game.

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