perennially high…

i seem to be on a perennial high nowadays… i think it all started on the 15th of march, after a particular fateful L^2 party… my confidence in myself seems to have shot up… i seem to have become more arrogant… i haven’t been depressed once in this period… i have become more pragmatic… i have hardly lost my cool (except on a couple of occasions at JPM)… even a couple of drops of alcohol have been enuff to send me really high… (in fact the other day i got damn high that i had zipped at 70 kmph on the way from home to college… one of those rare days when the ring road was empty… )

in short, i’ve been generally feeling hajaar good about myself over this period… some things which i thought i can never live without have become dispensable now… certain relationship lines have been redrawn… i’ve stopped getting unduly worried in life…

i’ve become extremely aggressive… along with this has come arrogance… perhaps this side of me was seen last around five years ago when i had just cracked the JEE… in this period of time i’ve rejected a job… overloaded myself for this term in order to do “all courses which i like”…

coming to think of it, this thing hasn’t happened after any specific event… just one arbit party on campus which changed so much? should be something more to it…

however, sometimes i wonder if this is all a bubble which will burst at any point of time… however i’m sure that i’ll be well prepared for it (hopefully). there’s bound to be a time when i find myself that i ahve too much to do my hands… i start losing sleep… health suffers… everything else goes down along with it…

interesting… hmmm…. 🙂


Fanaa, Yuva – A R Rahman
Khuda Hafiz, Yuva – A R Rahman
The Unforgiven II – Metallica
The House That Jack Built – Metallica
Afraid to Shoot Strangers – Iron Maiden
When the Smoke is Going Down – Scorpions
When a Blind Man Cries – Deep Purple
Bin Tere Sanam – DJ Suketu

Each of these songs remind me of one of the most unglorious chapters of my life which took place between nine and eleven months ago.

I still like to listen to them.



just a few minutes back i ran into chiru. First thing we realized was that we had hardly seen each other this term, despite it being a week after college started.

we don’t have any common courses. my room is in J block which is at a corner of IIMB (and close to the behind parking lot which means i don’t actually pass through the front). and no holidays during summer means i’ve become a kinda dayski… having spent all of two nights in the hostel so far… and i’ve eaten at the mess maybe 4 times (or is it 3?).

at this rate i’m sure i’ll forget half my batch BEFORE i pass out (though, given my memory that’s unlikely to happen)!! so much difference from first year…

9 more months of college life…. hmmm….

inverse bumping

it is not easy to reject a job. especially if it is from the world’s second largest bank. with a posting in london. a compensation which starts at the same level as the security guard at the bank but quickly grows to make me a millionaire within 5-6 years. and in an industry which is most coveted for most people in my college.

it’s not easy to accept a job, either. if the two months you spent at your “future workplace” were hell. Where you were made to do the jobs normally done by “class IV employees”. where the only thing that mattered to anyone was money. in an industry where everyone is grossly overpaid and hence one has to be lucky to survive. where the job, as i see it, is hardly intellectually stimulating. where you’re just another brick – no just a grain of sand making up a brick – in the wall. in a far-off land, where I don’t have too many friends (except a handful from my college who’ll be going there to – do what else? i-banking). where i have trouble getting the kind of food i like; where i managed to get rid of my addiction to caffeine because the coffee was so bad.

well, it has been hard to make this decision. have thought over it. talked to a few people around me. have faced extreme reactions – in both directions. well, if you’ve been following my blog over the last month, i think you’ve guessed right.

i am currently in the process of writing my “inverse bump” mail. i believe even when you’re saying “no”, there’s a nice way of doing it. hope to complete this mail in some time. early tomorrow morning, i’ll get it proofread by a few friends and send it on it’s way.

yet another glorious (??!!??) chapter in my life comes to a close. one that started with signing in a grubby yellow notebook saying “i accept the offer”. it had it’s highs and lows and stuff. was interesting, to say the least. well, it’ll end as soon as that mails leaves my mailbox a few hours from now.

hmmm… as usual, i’m not finding a good ending for this essay, so i guess i’ll stop here. and yeah, in a few days you can find articles on the investment banking myth and also a complete porter’s analysis on the investment banking industry.

last post from JP Morgan

i fetched probably the last round of coffee for my team an hour ago. two skinny lattes and two mochas. i’ll be in office for not more than an hour from now.

it is the end of one of the most interesting chapters of my life. a period of ten weeks where (as i’ve said before) my ‘learning density’ has been maximum. of course there have been those momeents of frustration, such as when i had to check if the ‘middle office’ had done it’s job properly. some moments of elation – climbing the white cliffs at the isle of wight and watching ‘les miseables’ (i still don’t know how to pronounce the name) and our first ever IIMB outing to canterbury. there have been moments of excitement at office – sometimes when the guy next to me has had me calculating stuff for him as he was closing a deal. when i read about some exotic structures. and sometimes it’s been utter boredom – my weeks 6 and 7 where i did nothign but check mail every minute for non-existent new mail.

yeah, i have an offer from JP Morgan. it’s in exotic derivatives trading. it’s going to be a hectic job: 7 am to 8 pm or so of intense action. as i’ve said before, probably the best job an investment bank could offer me.

i have the contract letter in my bag – literally. if i want the job, i need to sign it and send it back within 10 business days. several factors to consider. hopefully i should make an intelligent decision.

yeah, this also happens to be my last post from London. would be leaving for b’lore on sunday morning, via delhi. due to some screwed up planning, etc. it’ll take around 18 hours to hit b’lore.

london has been kinda nice. lousy weather. but some things are good though: the night-life, the public transport, the variety in entertainment, etc. some things have been lousy – the food (except for a few good meals here and there), the weather (again!!), the tiny roads, most shops closing by 7 pm, no free lunch at office, the coffee, etc.

a few closing notes about england…

capital: London
national animal: lion
national game: football? rugby? (surprisingly not too many people here like cricket – strange)
national obsession: the weather
national pastime: making out

guess thatzit for now. the next post will be from IIMB.

once again, cheers mates!

last day!!!

today is the last day of my internship at JP Morgan. 10 weeks seem to have just flown by. a few things i have to do today…

– finalize my fraud “project report” (i didn’t do any project here) and get it signed by my manager
– pain the HR people and make sure i have my offer letter in hand by the end of the day
– ask my manager to send a mail to the HR people saying that i haven’t taken any leave. i’ll get paid for those days i’ve NOT taken leave for
– clean out my desk and collect some useful stuff, if any, to take back home
– say goodbye to everyone here. i’ve brought a whole bunch of IIMB business cards for distribution!
– and i’m sure that my team here would like to have their money’s worth and i’ll have to do my today’s quota of choo tiya kaam

so i guess i’ll sign off now. i’ll be online till evening when i leave this place. and given that net connectivity at home is painfully slow, i guess i’ll follow a “no net” oplicy until both my comp and i have shifted to IIMB hostel.

cheers, mates!