first year over…

my first year in IIMB ended twenty minutes ago. Unlike the drama that accompanied hariba, mine was a quiet affair. I just decided that I couldn’t stand the Macro Economics paper any longer. Quietly stood up, gave the paper to Gundu Rao and walked out. After I finish writing this post, my comp will be dismantled and sent home. I’ll be leaving for home soon too.

Later in the evening I’ll be leaving for London. For my internship at JP Morgan. Looking forward to it. In fact i’ve been so excited that i couldn’t concentrate on my exams for the last 2 days. Hopefully i’ll get some time off from what is supposed to be a busy schedule in London so that I can continue to maintain this journal. Else, the next post will be on June 13th.

First year in IIMB was good. Much much better than IIT. Reminded me of those glory days of 10th standard. As i walked in to this place, I found many more people like me. Fell in love with the general culture here (not the academic part of it, though). Could feel like I am part of the insti right from the day I joined. I still can’t forget my first few days here. When it was all about meeting new people… exploring the campus… etc.

I still remember the time during my first week here when I forgot which city i was in! IIM is so different from bangalore. All the pseud value we put in here… And then on my second day in IIMB i had to go out. Walked out of the gate and saw a bus passing by. Quickly crossed the road, ran after the bus and jumped in while it was moving. It was crowded. I made small talk with my co-passengers. Had a hand over the pocket where i’d kept my wallet adn phone. Similar experience on the way back. Got down and walked into campus. I was in a different world once again…

That digression apart, the first year was largely good. Acads didn’t go too well. Extra currics were just ok. But life was good. In general. Used to enjoy the classes in the first term. Then the kind of camaraderie that used to exist in our class in our first term was paralleled only by my school. Then there was tsepak. And bracket. And L^2 (before IIMB the last time i’d been to a party of that kind was in 11th). And net access in my room. And how can i forget our first class picnic? And travelling all over the country for myriad reasons (twice to madras, once each to delhi and bombay). And going out for dinners. And putting bhasad in the wing. And those long bitching sessions. Lots more things.

Of course the situation wasn’t all THAT rosy. There was the dreaded ap-ex. And Rambo. And SadUrangani. And the woreshtest HR Courses. And i had to live with the fact that most people didn’t understand my IITM dialect. Cuppax. And then, those long philosophical trips I used to go on. And when i used to sit on my armchair with my head buried in my arms with all sorts of weird what-ifs. And pestering certain people to talk to me, without much effect. And getting drunk on L^2 and doing all sorts of weird things which made me REALLY infamous. and going into hiding because the whole institute wanted to copy my assignment.

As James Hetfield croons out “The Unforgiven 2” for one last time in this room, I can say i had an extremely good first year. It’s now time to begin a new chapter in my life…. Need to begin all the packing up and stuff… baah..

Now I see the sun!!!

arbit… yet again…

When you think you are down and out in life… when you think Captain Murphy is in his best form… when you can’t think of any other point of time in your life when you felt so miserable… your natural tendency is to crib… some great person (i forgot who) has said that cribbing does help you relieve your tension. but before you crib, just think for a minute…

just think about the face of the poorest and weakest man you’ve ever seen. and think if your situation is better or worse than him. in most cases, you’ll realize that you have so many things that he doesn’t have. and does he go around town cribbing that he’s the weakest man you’ve seen? in most cases, not. he just puts on a smile and goes about his duties.

so when this person who’s much much more miserable than you can just get on with his life without cribbing, what right do YOU have to crib? i have seen the phenomenon on LJ/blogger also. lots of comments to ‘crib posts’ are “maan, i’d give anything to be in the situation you are in now. chill… “. given all this, do i have a right to crib when i feel bad? NOT AT ALL.

What is the implication of this? that i should NEVER crib. but what happened to the words of the great philosopher who said that cribing is very good for health? well, it may be good for your health but it’s at the cost of others. you don’t have a moral right to crib so you can’t. people don’t care whether it is good for YOUR health or not. it is somewhat akin to “drinking human blood is good for health. but since it’s wrong to kill someone, you can’t drink human blood even though it’s good for you”.

the next time you feel miserable in life… the next time you feel life couldn’t have been worse… the next time you think you need to talk to someone about one of your problems… just remember this post… and also the face of the poorest and weakest man you’ve seen…

you’ll feel EVEN MORE MISERABLE

disturbing stuff…

Have you ever felt that someone or something has just intruded into your life? The phone ringing when you’ve just settled on the couch with a good book… That far-flung relative of yours deciding to drop in just when the cricket match has reached an interesting stage? Or when you’re nicely settling into a nice conversation when someone suddenly comes in and changes the topic…. Or when you are lost in your reveries while sitting in class and your neighbor says, “Hey, look at this problem raa… “.

God has given us many skills. Unfortunately one skill he hasn’t given is to read other people’s thoughts. Can I butt into this conversation without being considered an intruder? Can I join this group of people at the dinner table? Will he mind if i decide to drop into his house now? Unfortunately, we don’t have the natural means to answer these kinds of questions, unless of course we know the person(s) in question REALLY well…

One can think of two ways of solving this problem – the optimistic and pessimistic. The optimist believes that he NEVER disturbs anyone. He believes that everyone has the right to listen to him. If anyone has any problem with his presence, he’ll be told so explicitly and till then he can do whatever he wants. The better optimist soon learns to read people’s minds and can, with respect to a few people, predict pretty accurately whether he is intruding or not.

The other kind of people are always of the opinion “lemme not do this as if i do i’ll be disturbing him”. A good example will be the character of Seethapati (played by Umesh) in the movie Golmal Radhakrishna (*ing Anant Nag and Chandrika, 1989 or so… ). I assume that you’ve watched the movie (if you haven’t, do so asap. it’s one of Anant Nag’s best comic performances), so I don’t need to elaborate on this kind of character.

In my not-so-humble opinion, the successful one (in networking atleast – not of the Tanenbaum type) is one who can quickly learn when he is intruding into someone’s life and when he is welcome. I have been striving for the last 5 years to reach this state but haven’t made TOO much progress. Have been just shuttling between Seethapati and extreme intruder….

As i was peacefully writing this post, in total bliss, i got this arbit phone call from ICICI about some credit cards. I told them “If you keep paining me like this, cancel my card” and slammed the phone down…

exams…..

once again, it’s that part of the year when we have to go through something called “end-term exams”. for the first time in four years, I have finished all my submissions well before the exams and the only thing left to do is to mug. everyone else seems to have started in right earnest. they seem to have polished off both the ‘investments’ binders, including the hundred papers written by our own prof, and have started mugging the law.

I hate exams, though on any given day i would prefer them to projects. you can fraud your way through an exams but not through a project. and in a project you end up with freeriders, slavedrivers, etc. (for more, see my other articles). in an exam, you’re the master of your own destiny (??!!?!!?).

exams make me feel lonely. make me feel that there’s something somewhere that i’ve missed out. even when i know that i know everything in the syllabus (the probablility of this has been quickly falling to zero over the years), there is this niggling fear that creeps up because the guy next door mugs all day and night. you feel like taking a break but have nothing to do (except maybe blog) since everyone else is buried in the books. there’s this guilty feeling when you do things you like but not connected to exams.

i also have this habit of getting a fever during exams. started during my tenth boards. continued to haunt me through my twelfth boards and then right through my stint at IIT. actually in a way it’s good to get the fever. you worry about it so much that you tend to take your mind off the subject in question and the pressure on you to perform is that much lesser. you know that you have the excuse “mom, i had a fever that day” just in case you tend to screw up (which is happening very frequently nowadays).

then, there’s this phenomenon of the last paper. i have NEVER turned in an average performance in the last exam of the term. it’s either totally out of the world (‘S’ level) or totally woresht (‘C’ levels). has been happening for the past few years. once again, ever since my 10th boards. would be interesting to sit and figure out why…

anyways, i’m preparing myself for a hectic week. apart from preparations to go abroad, i have to mug for my exams also. at least the time table is good: i have exactly one exam a day, starting thursday…. here’s wishing myself all the best for the exams…

Blighty…

I’m supposed to be leaving for London next Sunday. Tickets have been booked. So has accomodation. All the shopping has been done. There remains just one small hitch – the visa.

The people at my office there applied for the work permit REALLY late because of which they got the work permit real late and it is yet to reach me. and with the spate of holidays (today – good friday; tomorrow – holi; day after – sunday) i can’t expect to get the permit before monday. i had told my HR to send the thing by express courier but unfortunately that hasn’t happened. so my travelling to england is now contingent on getting the visa on time…

nevertheless, i’m assuming that i’ll be getting the visa on time and am looking forward to the journey… first time i’ll be leaving indian shores… pretty excited about that… i know working in an investment bank doesn’t give you much time… still hoping to have fun there… more than a dozen of us from IIMB will be there…

when i started writing this, there was so much i wanted to write… but somehow i’ve forgotten all of it now… more later…

PS: (Courtesy Chinmay and Doofoo) the term “Blighty” comes from the Hindi word “Vilayat”

phew! (arbit random thoughts… )

feeling so good now…. had a couple of assignments to submit today… the last two of my first year in IIMB… yuddhakaale shastraabhyaasa (start practising your weapons during the time of war). i started on these assignments a couple of days back…

ah! the last two days… of SPSS and writing and googling and Ctrl+C and Ctrl+V and iomanip.h … of dealing with different kinds of people… freeriders… fighters… slavedrivers… a sehwag who slams a century and gets out on the last ball of the 15th over, saying “i’ve finished my part… now i’m out of it”…

and i must dig it out… play out the 50… shield strike from the freeriders… take all the singles while batting with the fighters… and attempt to get the slavedriver run out… whatever the others do, i must stay right until the end… till the target is reached… and now that it’s been reached…

the assignments are behind me… feels so good… to be able to sit down on the armchair with my feet up and reading the times of india… to realize that i don’t have any assignments to do for another three months (i mean academic assignments only)… but the nightouts are still there… exams from next week… i’m yet to start mugging for them…

but who the hell cares… lemme enjoy the moment while it lasts… and watch that replay yet again…

arbit….

why is it that i always end up pissing people off? why is it that people can’t take my intended jokes in a lighter vein?

some people get pissed off because i’m too nice to them… others get pissed off when i’m too rude to them.. . at a great dilemma. and i’m supposed to want to be an i-banker! dunno what to do…

some people say i’m too modest… others say i’m too arrogant… some say i lack confidence in myself… others say i’m overconfident… some keep flattering me and raising me to the sky… others treat me like a piece of shit…

life is a bundle of contradictions…