sucks…

i’m really pissed with my job now. i know i have only 6 more days in office after today.

but still it’s really pissing off when day after day you’re kept frustrated with no work for most part and then loaded with some real bullshit work, which any duffer who doesn’t have empty space between his ears can do.

really frustrating… want to just take a few minutes’ break and relax… however (if i don’t want to go out in the cold) there’s simply no place in the office to do it… every place here is so damn noisy… i just went out and sat on a couch in front of the lifts (the only comfortable seats on the floor – IITM theoretical computer sciences lab had better chairs than the ones in office here) and bloody the lifts start making funny noises…

have half a feeling of wanting to beat up someone now… just waiting for my final review on monday during which i can tell my manager how bullshitty all this work i’m doing is… yeah the pay is good, but thatz just the silver lining…

enthu

when i came in to JP Morgan, a day after a gruelling 3rd term, i was full of enthu. took whatever shit was thrown in my direction and worked. and even though i didn’t consciously do it, i managed to do a good job of it and got a good mid-term review.

this review was followed by 2 weeks of joblessness and suddenly the enthu seems to have disappeared. don’t feel like learning anything now. even if i were to be given teh most interesting piece of work in teh world now, i won’t feel like doing it. the fact that i have only a little mroe than a week here is also weighing in on my head. just going through the motions now… final review on monday… wonder how it’ll go… i’m pretty sure it won’t be as great as the mid-term.

probably if only i had been given enough work during the 6th and 7th week (which was when i lost enthu) and given some more interesting work, the hunger would’ve been sustained and i’d be doing a much better job of whatever i’m doing now…

the last one week i’m arriving in office a quarter of an hour late… i do a job that would normally take ten minutes in an hour… i sit looking at the clock all day, waiting for the day to end… i loathe it when my associate call me (that means work, generally of the boring variety)…

waiting to finish of the remaining time of my stay in JPM and then chill out for a few (3) days at home and then back to the grind at IIMB… at least there i won’t have to wake up early daily!! (i’m already beginning to miss student life)

interesting stuff…

today during lunch i happened to hear this ronan keating song, “you say it best when you say nothing at all…”. a lot of people believe that it is one of THE most romantic songs ever and stuff like that… according to me, it is simbly the nicest way of telling someone to shut up… think about it…

along similar lines… it is common that when something uncommon happens you say that “it will rain today” (eg. “oh you came to office early today? it will deffinitely rain”). against this background you have the song, “koi ladki hai, jab woh hasti hai, baarish hoti hai, …” (there exists a girl, whenever she laughs it rains). lyricist to pagal hai!

then, surprisingly, you have the dessert chain corner house being successful in bangalore. this intrigues me as in kannada slang (at least the variety my parents speak), “corner house” refers to the loo! probably it has succeeded because there are enough people in bangalore who don’t speak this slang.

on similar lines, hutch has also done reasonably well in bangalore (airtel maybe the leader by a long way but hutch has succeeded in uprooting spice from second place) though “hUtch” (with the U pronounced as in bUll or fUll) means madness! hutch is even casually referred to as “hUtch” sometimes…

interesting… 🙂

17308

i know it’s been a long time since i put a public entry (there’ve been lots of ‘friends only’ entries in between). anyway, i’m halfway into the ninth week of my internship. another 11 days here in London and i’m done. work has been getting increasingly frustrating and yesterday i gave a long lecture to my boss as to how JPM won’t succeed because its systems aren’t good. Today manager replied saying that even though the systems here suck big time, they’re the best across the industry!!

Whether or not to improve technology is an oft-repeated application of the prisoner’s dilemma. In the case of investment banking, however, it looks like all companies are simply taking things lying down (if what my manager said were true). Surprising indeed…

Anyway, today i started writing my ‘report’. i didn’t do any project as part of my internship but IIMB’s academic requirements require a ‘project report’. so i’m writing one based on one of the hundred deals i’ve worked on. good thing is it won’t be evaluated for grades.

feeling too lazy now, so i’ll stop here.

random….

every extra minute more i spend here in office, the more frustrated i become. as i had mentioned earlier, the IT systems here are pretty poor. hardly world class. and if this indeed is world class, then i’m proud (??!!) to say that many of our PSUs are also world class.

the last couple of days in office have been spent trying to check the work of a bunch of jokers called “middle office”. those guys don’t even consider it a shame for an intern to check on their work and to send them corrections!! and to imagine the better performers in there actually get promoted to normal investment banking!! ah, the high standards JPM has set!!

i was priding myself the other day for not having gotten depressed for the past 3 months (after a couple of months of unwarranted paranoia about grades and career, which i’m now out of). but of late, following the comments of a few friends, i feel i’m prone to depression in the next few days.

basically it goes like this:
i hate my job. it is extremely mundane. at least if a small portion of it was non-routine work it would’ve made my days. however, that is not the case to be. i mean, it is a really boring job. and i’m not helped by the systems (i’m repeating myself) or the lack of it at JPM. well, i’m really pissed and it’s very very unlikely i’m going to come back if offered.

however, no one other than my parents seem to believe that my job sucks. most people are like “every job is like that. there is no such thing as an interesting job. come and see our jobs, yours will actually be rocknig. and remember that you’re getting paid a really huge amount”, etc. now, that gives me the impression that since mine is the most interesting job (according to all these people) and i don’t find it interesting, i won’t find any job interesting. which means that i’m doomed to mundane jobs for the rest of my life. which means that after the one year of student life i have left in me (assuming i don’t do a PhD), i’m basically kinda screwed for life. i won’t fit into any organization – i’m too rebellious for that. blah blah…

back to other stuff now… my mid-term review suggested i’ll get a PPO. which would be damn useful for my finals. now teh way i’m going, it’s unlikely i’ll crack it… as in i’ve been openly protestnig against the kind of stuff being given to me… trying to drill management gyaan into my associates’ heads… my manager tried to place me with a couple of other desks which have more ‘interesting’ jobs… but they didn’t seem too enthusiastic to recruit…

no idea as to what will come out of this… hoping for the best…

a mail i sent to swami yesterday…

// he had written a mail saying there’s no such thing as a good job and i should concentrate on work and crack a PPO

yeah thanx for the fundaes… similar to what a lot of other people have been telling me of late… i for one have taken the best decision a manager can ever take – postpone the decision, for which one thing necessary is a PPO. i’m not doing anything silly or extraordinary. just trying to do my best at whatever work is being given to me. and have managed a really good mid-term review and should mostly geta PPO.

if i were chopra/gambhir, i won’t mind fielding at short leg as long as i’m opening the batting (and not batting at 11 and not even getting to bowl). what i mean is i don’t mind doing all the shitty work as long as the core work is good. but as i see it, the work that my manager does also isn’t very interesting.

we are in the swaps business. a client calls up asking for an interest rate swap. we price it up and quote a price and try sell a swap to him. the swap is later handed on to the traders on the floor.

however, the organization structure of JPM seems to be creating slysha problem. what i would ideally like to do is to design the swaps and indulge in “new product development”. however, the NPD here is done only by the hybrids trading team and they don’t hire directly – you have to excel in marketing for a few years before they take you. and even if i were to get there through this route, trading is way too hectic for someone like me… i can’t hold my concentration for more than 2 hours…

this leaves me with the option of marketing… i don’t particularly mind it as long as i am selling ‘good products’. the marketing division is put into country-wide teams and due to my language skills (rather the lack of them), i’m in the UK team. unfortunately JPM isn’t a very big player in the UK arena and hence we get only shitty deals to work on. extremely boring and stuff.

i don’t even mind doing what JPM calls a ‘sales job’, which is kinda entrepreneural and involves going out into the field and getting new clients. only problem is i’m not very comfortable in the environment here and have no contacts in the commercial banks in the UK (who are our potential clients). i would be able to do well in this kind of a role only in India – which is not covered out of London but out of Hong Kong and Singapore. and since i’ve interned in London, i won’t be able to get a job in there.

to put it in ‘your language’, the job that i’m doing is that the customer calls up and specifies requirements… there’s no need for us to translate that into design document… they’re so commonplace that it’s purely mechanical… yeah we do the coding and a lot of maintenance (we have to hand it over to a ‘middle office’ to book the deals and they’re filled with a bunch of jokers who invariably screw up – so testing also involved). (actually i used to quite like debugging – though it was painful. testing and maintenance is what i loath abt. software engg..).

i’m really confused about my career options right now… i’m kinda split between fin and ops (which is the only reason i’m thinking of consults)… i don’t even mind doing marketing/sales as long as i’m selling ‘intelligent products’ (fin products or software) and i’m selling to businesses/corporates and not to junta AND i must have a good understanding of the environment…

and yeah, one more thing to consider is that the i-banking industry seems to be headed for a downturn… signs are already in (i managed to get this out of my manager’s mouth last week)… and JPM’s arbit recruitment policy, etc. mean that it would be downsizing massively in case of a downturn…

in summary i don’t mind doing a lot of arbit stuff if i’m also doing some good work along with it… and i don’t want to put my boat into choppy waters…

lot of food for thought i guess…