Schrodinger’s girlfriend

I’m still trying to figure out the nature of this relationship. It’s much stronger than simple good platonic friendship, but doesn’t seem to be anywhere near a romantic relationship. Yesterday night, as I was putting myself to sleep, I was trying my best to somehow slot the relationship (It’s possible that nowadays she’s also thinking on similar lines). Had a tough time until I remembered Arul Murugan Lakshminarayanan.

This relationship is currently not in a single state. It is a superposition of states. It lies in the “good friend” state with a probability p and in the “romance” state with a probability 1 – p. So the relationship is in a mixture of the “good friend” and “romance” states. Now, don’t ask me the value of p. Frankly, I don’t know it. I just know that 0 < p < 1.

Now, sooner or later, somebody is bound to make a measurement. The somebody could be me or her or my parents or her parents or maybe some common friend or whoever. The measurement would be typically done by getting the two of us in one place and then asking us or something. And if she also thinks the relationship is in a quantum state (which is quite likely), the measurement itself would be non-trivial but assume that it has been achieved.

Here comes the crux – no later than the measurement is made, and communicated to us, the quantum state comes crashing down. Depending on what the two of us decide at the time of measurement, the relationship will collapse into one of the two states it is a mixture of – “good friend” or “romance”. It might also fall into a third state (something like “hate” or whatever), but the probability of this is infinitesimally small, so let us ignore that.

So we have a perfect “quantum situation” here. Something which lies in a superposition of states. And which can’t be measured without the collapse of these states! Arul may have given me a C in PH350 (Quantum Mechanics for Engineers), but I’m now convinced I deserved much better than that!

Losers

Recently I had written a what I thought innocuous post on the cultural differences between North and South Bangalore, and said that it has a historical context. And put an innocuous friendly comment.

Now, some loser website must have linked to it, but that post has attracted numerous first-timers to my blog, and all of them have reacted with some really entertaining comments. I’ll put a few of the better ones here, but you can read the rest of the stuff here.

Here goes…

1. anyone who dares call S Bangaloreans as Losers should realise that he/she stays in Bangalore the capital of Karnataka…Give some respect and earn some!

2. Blore is not even half Mumbai, forget London or NY and we are talking abt N and S bangalore..BTW whatever or whoever is N Bangalore who dares call S Bangaloreans as Losers should realise that it/he/she stays in Bangalore the capital of Karnataka..So shut your f****** trap !!

3. Web sites like Sify should ban such blogs. Start doing something mature and useful rather then wasting time on such brainless ideas. (this i found to be the most hilarious)

4.
R u trying to imply dat muslims were pro-british..????
Just trying to refresh your memory…the fact is dat Tipu Sultan was a devout muslim…and one of the unsung heroes of the indian freedom movement
People like u ought to be ashamed of urself.
U just wanna divide the country in every way possible.

Check the rest of the stuff here.

The Page Three Principle

This article was written in the inaugural (and perhaps only) issue of Total Perspective Vortex, the ?other magazine? of IIT Madras. It was my first ever piece of non-slanderous writing, and surprisingly, even two years down the line I?m fairly proud of it. And I believe Madhur Bhandarkar got his inspiration for his movie after reading this article of mine.

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Jai

It is one of those words like ‘set’. It can be a noun, verb, adjective or adverb. The reason you don’t find it in any dictionary is because the lexicographists (or whatever) are too lazy to list out all its meanings and connotations. The reason it is not used very widely is that most people are not able to comprehend its profundity, and hence are afraid to use it.

The most commonly used form of the word is as a noun, more specifically as a proper noun. It is a quite common first name, especially in North India. Famous people with the name include that loser hero in Sholay who used a coin with heads on both sides so that he could die, thus avoiding marrying a widow! Then, there was this supposed “excellent all-rounder” called Jai P Yadav, unfortunately for whom Souravda got sacked as captain at the wrong time.

Another noun form in which the word is used is in a context such as “jai happens”. I’m not too sure though whether this should be classified as noun or adverb (could someone good at English enlighten me?). “Jai happens” is one of those really unmitigated sentences which manages to capture a lot of meaning in just two short words. This phrase was thus invented so that one could save the trouble of saying a whole paragraph when one could use just two words. It is for this very reason that I can’t explain the meaning of this phrase here. Guess it would suffice if i say that it is a very potent phrase.

Then, there is the commonly used verb form, where it is approximately synonymous with death. Something like “Rajiv Gandhi jai” implies Rajiv Gandhi is no more. Another common usage as a verb is “FTSA Assignment Jai” which means that the FTSA Assignment is so tough that you’re giving up on it. Once again, note that it is not synonymous with death, it is much more insightful than that. The whole reason for the word to exist.

This time, I’m sure that it is an adverb when I use it in the context of “Atticus Finch told jai”. Note that in certain contexts it can be used interchangeably with “Atticus Finch jai”. However, this is a restricted usage, as “Atticus Finch told Jai” has more connotations than just Atticus Finch dying. The most commonly used context where you say that is when Atticus Finch was supposed to meet you, probaby to team up with you in a quiz, or to give you money and suddenly decides not to turn up.

The least used form of this word, however, is as an adjective. It can be used in the context of “this is a Jai assignment”, where jai stands for “extremely tough” or “killing”. However, this is so complex a form that very few people have actually managed to understand the word in this context, thus leading to the low usage.

I have tried my best to explain to you the great insights that this simple three-letter word offers but I must confess that the English language is hardly sufficient to delve into the intricacies of it. I tender my humble apologies for the same. Oh no, I had almost forgotten to tell you one of the most important (and popular) usages of this word.

Bhaarat maata ki jai!

Statement of purposelessness

Dear Recruiter,
One thing that gives me a lot of kick in life is to learn new things. Ever since I was a kid, when my over-zealous dad used to make me mug a lot of ?general knowledge books?, I have always wanted to know more about the world. Most of what I have done, both academic and outside, have been driven by this desire to learn.

Learning has driven both my academic life, and has also defined my major hobby which is quizzing. The thing about quizzing is that not only do you learn more, you also sharpen your logical reasoning skills. The way senior level quizzing happens, just knowing stuff doesn?t help. You?ll need to use what you know in order to ?work out? the answer, in the process using logic and reasoning and logical reasoning.

Coming back to acads, I decided to go to IIT because a knowledgeable uncle told me that the best learning among all colleges in India happens at the IITs. Learnt a lot in class in IIT but since it was the first time I was living alone, I also learnt a lot outside of class. Towards the end of my BTech I had the option of learning more about less or less about more. I chose the latter and landed up in B School.

IIMB has been a wonderful experience, and the learning has been strong. Given that investment banking was ?hot? when I was in my first term, I went to JP Morgan in London for my summer internship. However, once I was there I figured out that there was not much to be learnt there. After I had digested the swaps module in the first week, there was nothing new in the job. So the PPO I hadn?t worked too hard for was sent down the Thames.

Having returned from my internship, I started talking to a variety of people and the feedback I got was that the job that can provide maximum learning is a consultancy job. I figured out that a consultancy job will provide me enough exposure to a variety of roles and industries and would provide me more than enough learning to keep me interested. I have even met consultants who have worked for over a dozen years who tell me that they still learn a lot on the job.

The thing that differentiates your company from your competitors is that you?re just setting up an office in India. Working in a young office means greater responsibility even for an associate consultant, and consequently greater learning. I also reckon that a portion of my work at your place would be in business development, which won?t happen at your competitors. Hence I’m extremely excited about joining you.

Given all this, I think yours is the best firm for me to start my career in. I believe that the learning that it would offer is superior to what any other firm would offer, irrespective of the industry. On my side, my superior analytical and logical reasoning skills, combined with my appetite for learning, means there is a good chance I?ll be a good consultant. You can check out my attached CV for examples of my skils.

I request you to recruit me. I promise to be a good employee and an asset to your organization. I also promise not to form any unions (I guess the fact that I’m neither Mallu nor Bong implies that). My intellect and madness will also help contribute to the diversity of your Delhi office.

Thanks and regards,
Karthik

Those darned contact lenses…

This is an old piece. I wrote it a couple of years back. Then I had thought that this is so good it might win a prize in some creative writing competition I might attend. Given that I’m almost done with my student life and it’s unlikely I’ll be taking part in any creative writing stuff, I thought I’ll put it up

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last post of the year

The last day of 2005 began with my mom shaking me up at 8:30 saying
she’s too lazy to make breakfast so I should quickly go fetch it from
somewhere. And if i delayed it would be troublesome for my diabetic
dad. Got set dosa and vada from Vasudev Adigas Food Line in Jayanagar
8th Block. Dosa was too salty but vada was good stuff.

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